Even After All These Years
by Misha Schmidt
Summary: Logan can still remember when he left 9 years ago, trying to run away from his problems. But life has a funny way of coming a full circle, and sometimes as much as you want, you can't run away from your past... and sometimes feelings don't die, even after all these years. Kogan, rated M for later chapters.
1. I Found You

**Okay... This is not my story. Let's start with that. Bestie _Wynter-Solstice_ asked me to post this up for her so I did :) We'll be sort of writing it together, I guess. **

**It's sort of a prequel to her story We'll Fly Away, but you don't _have_ to read it. It's going to lead up to there eventually, so yeah. Um... Enjoy :D**

**I FOUND YOU**

Outside, the sky was a canopy of silvery graphite. The rain barely making its presence felt, falling to the ground as delicating as a spring shower. Logan peered through the semi-closed blinds, wishing he could find himself caught in the impending downpour. But his mind over ruled his heart. He was twenty-nine years old, and there were some things you simply just didn't do at that age. No matter how much comfort it could give; Reliving memories that had long passed. What good could come out of it?

But it was weather like this that made him remember. Remember. Laugh. Cry. And sometimes, like today, it took all of his mental resolve to shut it out.

He shut the blinds.

At least now he could concentrate. And in his line of profession, it was vital.

The good part of his job was that he could take his lunch break at whatever time he felt hungry. Though out of sheer courtesy for the people who visited, he kept the hour fixed. He was his own boss, in his own special way, and it was a fact, whenever he dwelt on it, made him quite content. After all, now, no one could tell him what he could or could not do; No one would tell him that he was wasting his time trying to help people who didn't deserve it.

The truth was, even while growing up, he always knew he'd settle into a comfortable life like this. Nothing stressfull. Nothing burdensome. Doing something he always wanted to do.

He knew he would grow up and make something of himself. He knew he would never be filthy rich, after all, how many of those who came could actually pay for the services he rendered to them? Not that it mattered. Money never mattered; The smile on their faces as they left was enough.

But as Logan sat back against his seat, he knew, and acknknowledged, that perhaps there was something he needed in his life. Something he left behind nine years ago.

A knock on his door.

"Come on in," he called softly, knocking the pained expression off his face.

The doorknob turned slowly, and he distinctly heard his secretery say to the patient, "The doctor's lunch break is finishing in about five minutes. Can you wait, sir?"

Logan sighed, turning his back to the door. He had a couple more minutes to himself. He leaned into his chair, closing his eyes.

Logan did not hear the man's reply that it was urgent... and neither did he hear his door open and the man enter his office.

"Dr. Mitchell?" a baritone voice addressed him in a soft voice.

Had Logan been anyone else, he would have spun around and told the person off. But every logical thought seemed to leave his body when he finally lay eyes on the man standing in front of him.

"Kendall," he breathed, and immediately wished he had held his tongue.

A look of recognition ventured onto the blond's face, his green eyes enrapturing Logan's brown ones all over again.

But the warmth was gone and an awkward moment. Tension seemed to spring up between them. Nine years ago... Logan bit his tongue. Medicine was about science and reasoning. NOT about letting your feelings get the better of you. _Calm._

"Mr. Knight," Logan corrected himself, "Would you like to have a seat?"

Kendall scoffed, but there was an undertone of something sad about it. After all these years, Kendall hadn't changed one bit. "There are many things I'd like to do right now, but sitting isn't one of them."

The stubbornness was still there, Logan recognised, and it brought a small smile to his face. But... professionalism.

"So what seems to be the problem Mr. Knight?" It wasn't just the doctor in him asking. It seemed that his teenaged hormone ridden self, had taken a keen interest.

"Why are you here?" he asked, none too kindly. "After SAT's you left to go medical school, halfway around the country, and..."

"It was actually the other side of the country... John Hopkins? I had told you." Why he felt the need to correct the blond was beyond him. The truth wasn't all that pleasant, compared to the lie. But this was Kendall. He needed to know.

"Oh, and by the way, call me Kendall. Not that _Mr. Knight_ nonsense. But why are you _here_? You could've stayed across on that side."

The comment stung, but he didn't let it show. And it was a question he asked himself. Why did he come back?

"Nine years!" Kendall continued, "You left for nine years. No call, no text, no email... not even Skype. At least answer that. Why? I thought we were best friends?"

Logan looked away from him. "Kendall, you wanted to go into special effects. I couldn't pass up an opportunity like that to study in California when I got an opportunity to study at the best."

"You didn't answer the question Dr. Mitchell."'

"I don't know where to begin."

"Logan," Kendall said, and the doctor turned to meet his eyes. There was so something about his tone, a subtle 'why are you doing this to me'.

"I owe you an explanation," Logan began shakily, "I never thought the day would come that I'd have to say it... but I guess life is funny that way, isn't it?" He looked at the blond. He had no smile on his face.

"I needed to get away from you, Kendall. I needed to run away from everything that was normal and comfortable in my life, and forge my own path. I needed to realise for myself that as much as you were my best friend, there were some things we _couldn't_ do together. I didn't mean to be insensitive; But it wasn't something I expected you to understand." He took a pause, and in a softer voice, "You said that we would always be together, as friends, and I wanted to. I wanted it to be that way, Kendall, but it was hard. I needed to prove to myself that I could be fine without you."

Someone had told him once that distance was good in relationships but it took a lot out of the brunet. Logan _hadn't_ been fine without him. In a new place, sure you had a new start, but it meant making friends. And Logan's heart wasn't ready for that.

"But why'd you come back to California,? Surely you knew I never moved. I'm like the most famous special effects director this side of the Hollywood sign"

"I'm not the only practising doctor this side of town either." Logan pointed out, "You came despite seeing my last name on the door?"

At that, Kendall looked away. "I always thought you'd come back. Even when we were younger, and mad at each other, and we weren't talking, we were never far apart."

"I'm sorry Kendall."

"Some part of me understands, and another still wants to be mad at you. I don't have to say you're forgiven _now,_ do I?"

"No. I'd be scared if you did."

Kendall walked to the side of the room, where stood a tall glass cupboard. "First class honours? In neuroscience?" he asked.

"Yeah... I always had a thing for helping people with brain issues,"

Kendall flashed him a look, but it was light-hearted now.

As he continued to read the certificates, Logan's fingers fiddled with the pen on the table. He wanted to ask Kendall so badly. But knew it was not his place to say something so personal to a person you'd met after nine years.

"So, Kendall, what have you been up to?" he asked instead.

"After SAT's? Well I studied special effects, did a course in management, and am now CEO in effects for Lionsgate."

"That's wonderful," Logan said and Kendall scoffed.

"Why don't you ask your follow-up question?"he asked.

"What?"

"Jo? Before you left, you know she signed up to go in the same university as me..."

"That's hardly my concern." Logan whispered, but deep down he was curious. Did they date? Jo always had a thing for Kendall, something that Logan was highly uncomfortable with and he never failed to remind kendall .

Kendall took a seat opposite the brunet, and watched him appraisingly. "When will you learn that you can't lie to me?"

"I will always keep trying."

The blond rested both his hands on the table, and Logan was surprised he hadn't paid attention to them before. Nine years of training in the art of observation down the drain.

On his left hand, fastened securely around his fourth finger from the right, was a silver ring.

"We got engaged last month."

Logan stared at him, at first confused, then the truth sank in. _Breathe, _he told himself. The risk of this happening was high, he always knew it. After all, how long could you ignore someone who made their feelings quite obvious? He pushed his chair all the way back, and stood. "Mind excusing me for a second? I need to go... check something."

"Logan, wait..."

But the brunet didn't hear him; He marched right out of the office into the adjoining room where there was a bathroom. He locked himself inside.

This couldn't be happening. Kendall couldn't… really… be getting married. Not to Jo. Just no. He wanted to cry, but most of all, he wanted to storm into that room and tell him the real entire truth as to why he left; The 'why' he hadn't kept in touch. He hadn't lied per say. But there were some things Kendall couldn't know.

The blond had chosen his life partner already.

What a pity Logan was still waiting for his to come around, and who was, co-incidentally, in love with the person he couldn't stand.

Medical school taught Logan many things: The actual book knowledge that everyone had to know, but more importantly, how to be strong even when your natural reaction is to puke, or pass out. Over his two years of practical study, he had seen cases of all sorts of neurological disorders: Muscles, brain, nerves, spinal column… And to be honest, there were some things a person could live their whole life and not see.

He had learned to remain stoical. He had learned to put on a brave face and do what he had to do- out of sheer responsibility. He found strength in the fact that the person under the knife trusted him enough with their life. And they shared nothing.

Logan found himself tapping into his own mental resolves as he walked back into the room. He could do this; He kept his own feelings hidden for so long… what was another decade, or even his lifetime?

"Logan." Kendall said as he stepped inside. "Look, I didn't mean…"

The brunet silenced him with a shake of his head. "Don't worry about it. I was shocked, that was all. And I needed to take _my_ medication."

"That's… ironic."

"My whole life is ironic."

Kendall looked confused, but Logan dissipated the mood.

"Hey, anything else I should know about?"

"Maybe I should ask you something. Is there anyone special in _your_ life?"

"Many. Mum. Dad. The Dean of Studies in the University was really nice to me…"

"You know what I mean," Kendall said.

"Actually, no. I haven't really been looking out for it, or putting myself out there. Like some people," Kendall had the decency to feign being abashed. "But I always thought it was hard having a steady relationship with someone, when it's at the risk of my career."

"Must you think for everything?"

Logan looked at him. "Yes, I think I do." A pause. "You know what's the weird thing here? You've been here for over fifteen minutes and we haven't begun to discuss what's wrong with you."

"And how perfect is it that I find a GP who couples as a neurologist?"

"So what's wrong?"

Kendall fixed a look on the brunet, as though he was asking the obvious. "I found my best friend. If anything, that's exactly what I needed."

"You really haven't changed one bit Kendall Knight."

""Did you expect me too?"

"Maybe a tad. But seriously, you don't want me to be recommending anything for your mental incapacities: Aleve? Panadol?"

"I'm _fine," _He stressed, standing up to leave, "But expect to see me again. And Logan?"

"Yes Kendall?"

"It's really good to see you again."

**Please review? Hope you like it :)**

**xoxo,**

**Cheesecake**** (Chelzi & Wynter) :***


	2. After Our Intermission

**Um. I don't own anything. It's all Wynter-Solstice's doing. I hope you enjoy :D**

CHAPTER TWO:

AFTER OUR INTERMISSION

There was one thing Logan was absolutely sure about. Sitting in the office by himself, thinking, was doing absolutely nothing.

The odds were possible, but highly improbable. Logan sat on his chair, head in his hands. fact that it happened proved that sometimes, science did not have all the answers.

Sometimes, when he thought back to that day, he wondered what would have happened had he done anything differently. Had he told Kendall the truth. Had he hadn't been so quick to make a decision that even he, himself, was unsure about. In the end, he was convinced that, despite the pain, it was how it ought to be.

Kendall with his dream of being a director; He with his to become a neurosurgeon… Which part of that was similar? Unless he decided to try out for Grey's Anatomy or something. Which he was not.

He remembered the day he told Kendall he was going. It was a Friday, and in many ways, the ending of something very beautiful, and at the same time, tragic. Logan hadn't made any attempt at conversation for the morning, which elicited Kendall's appearance at his desk at recess.

He could remember Kendall's words as clear as daylight. "So, you don't want to do this anymore?"

Did he want to do it? Really? Every internet search proved near futile. Was it possible to be friends with the one you loved? If it was, then it was simple. It was either he never truly loved him, or… perhaps the worse possibility: This wasn't even a friendship; A relationship under strain.

Kendall had no idea, and Logan was not stupid enough to enlighten him. What would he say?

Kendall never seemed to reciprocate.

Logan was scared that… in telling him, the blond would be himself. Show him the love he wanted, just because he didn't want to hurt him. Pretend to like him. Have some relationship that would mean the world to him, but at the same thing… absolutely nothing in the mind of his BFF. Is there was anything that was able to kill him, it would be that.

And then the matter of Jo.

It wasn't as though Logan didn't like her. It was that she was always competing for the blond's attention and after the first couple years, it began to get annoying. Over the days, previous to their spat, Kendall and Jo had been getting closer … not so romantically inclined (Kendall made that clear) but the back rubbing, the hugging around the neck, the cheek patting… Every time, his stomach made somersaults. And Kendall never seemed to think anything of it.

He tried not to notice. Not to look at them. But he was a scientist. He noticed EVERYTHING. But in essence, he was ignoring his best friend. The friendship was on the decline before the actual words were exchanged.

The hardest thing in the world was to love someone, and see someone else with them, keeping them happy. It was hard when you had to lie to yourself ALL the time, just to keep your feelings in check. And most of all, the worst pain was loving someone and not having them feel the same way about you.

H e wanted to cry. He wanted to run up to Kendall and tell him everything. He wanted to die with the emotional turmoil inside… okay, not die. So he did the next best thing.

He broke his own heart.

And went far away.

It was fine if Kendall never loved him and moved on in his life if he didn't have to be around to see it. But it was painful, because at the same time, he wanted to know.

But there was nothing that could be done at the point in time. He would NEVER ask Kendall to be mean to someone, just because he wished that person was he. He couldn't be with the blond and squash the boy with his complicated emotional insecurities.

Kendall would be mad, he knew. He would call him selfish, and mean. And to be honest, Logan knew it was a selfish decision.

And should Kendall and he meet ever again, he would apologize. And say what…?

But that was improbable. He would never see the blond again. They would grow up- Kendall forging his own path, getting married, having kids… And him?

Logan rocked back in his seat. Nine years later and look at him now.

Nothing had changed; Everything had changed.

Kendall was coming in… what, the next fifteen minutes? Was he even ready for this? Could this even be fair to Kendall?

He laughed at himself.

"Kendall's engaged, you idiot," he said out loud, and wiped the tell-tale tear that slid down his cheek. "You lost your chance nine years ago."

…

"I'm thinking I should be mad at you," the blond said, looking at Logan from across the table. "I mean, I reserve the right to be… And growing up, we always had this problem where we never dealt with our problems that normal people do. You laugh, I laugh. And then… it never mattered what we were mad about."

Logan shook his head. "I don't think it was that. We valued our friendship a lot more than our pride."

Kendall fixed his a peculiar look. "You… think so? Personally, I always won."

"Win."

"Win what?"

"No… you always win. Let's not speak in the past tense… please?"

"You act really weird around me someti… all the time, you know that? But if it pleases you. So what do you want to know."

"Tell me about Jo."

Kendall looked outside the window. "You have to promise to answer any question I have for you after."

A pause. "Fine."

"I know you don't like her," Kendall began slowly, "But Jo's really changed since when you knew her."

"Like how?" Logan asked. It was a challenge keeping his voice sounding calm and interested without the cracking.

"Well, we worked together during university. She was there. She kept my company after you… left… She stopped being all weird, and in fact, she kinda grew on me. Like I couldn't imagine doing stuff without her. And one thing led to another, and here we are."

"That's it?"

"You scarcely expect me to tell you everything, do you?"

Logan shook his head. He didn't think so.

The pain was coming in waves. Right now the calm before the storm. When Kendall left, Logan could make no promises.

"Are you happy, Kendall?" he asked.

"It depends. I think we're all looking for happiness, one way or another. Maybe my happiness lies with Jo. I can't know for certain right now…"

"That's an odd thing to say. You can't be happy with someone. Happiness is a state…"

"Of contentment. It's a personal thing. You told me this before. But I've proven you wrong…. As usual. There are some people I just like hanging out with… more than others. They make… keep… me happy."

"Do you love her?"

That was it. The million-dollar question.

Kendall gave Logan the smile he knew and adored. "Yes Logan. I do."

**Review please?**

**Love,**

**Chelzi/Wynter**


	3. Chasing Pavements

**Sorry I took so long, I had this story for like... forever... to post, and I finally did. Yay for me! Lol... Didn't write 99% of this, Wynter-Solstice did.. woohoo. Enjoy :)**

CHAPTER THREE:

**CHASING PAVEMENTS**

"So… Logan Mitchell became a doctor? Well, in school, I guess there was no question about it…" Jo flashed her fiancé a look, hoping he caught the hidden undertone of the statement.

Kendall spared a moment off the road, a smile on his lips. "You know right? But even so, it's still amazing at how much we deviated from each other…"

A pause. "Are you sure you want to do this, Kendall? I know he's your friend and everything, but should you really be pursuing a friendship that he threw down the drain so many years ago?"

There was a lull in conversation after that. Cars zoomed past theirs; the trees that lined the road seemed only a blur of green. Then, "I was thinking about that… And maybe, I admit, it crossed my mind. But Logan wasn't himself when he made that decision. He wasn't the Logan I knew at least. Something was wrong, and perhaps now is not the time or place to ask him what it was. But I forgive him."

"Why?"

"Because he's my friend. And I trust him."

Jo stared out of the window, hoping the Kendall didn't see the look in her eyes. She had thought Logan was out of the picture. All those years, when she had her doubts about him… and Kendall. The way he would care for the boy almost like a brother, the way he turned around when Kendall's name was called… almost as if they were one and the same. Some would call them best friends. And maybe they were right.

But she didn't have a minor in kinesics for nothing. Logan Mitchell was in love with Kendall Knight at some point in time or the other. And if he still was? Well, Kendall wasn't his to begin with… maybe he left because of it?... and if he thought for the briefest of moments he could come and snatch what was finally hers, he was dead wrong.

She sighed almost to herself. Did they really have to go there?

…

The car pulled into the gravel driveway, in front of the stereotypical white fence that protected the hydrangea that blossomed just beyond it. Jo got out first and rested her arms on the hood of the A4 and waited for Kendall.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally switched off the engine and locked the car.

He moved to stand beside her.

"Is something wrong Jo?" he asked, a slight frustration mixing in with his evident concern.

"No… it's just that… Can't we find another GP?" she blurted.

"Why can't you get it? This is Logan we're talking about. He wouldn't be like other doctor's who'd not care about his patients and give us shoddy advice. And we need that… especially if we're going to have a family."

"I don't think he likes me very much," she whispered in a small voice.

Kendall laughed. "I didn't like you all that much in high school. But people change. You should know that. Back then, we were all different- different minded, had our idiosyncrasies… but here we are. Things have changed. Trust me."

"I do trust you Kendall," she said. Just not him.

…

Logan sat in his office, watching the clock tick pass eleven o' clock. Kendall had said he was coming, and that he had a surprise. But knowing the blond, surprises were never what he would consider joyous, and hopefully, whatever this one was, it was something that they could have finished a little earlier.

He opened his top drawer and peered inside for what seemed like the fiftieth time. Providence was one of the most expensive restaurants on the West Coast, and he felt proud that he was able to procure the coupons for an all-expense paid dinner.

Maybe after Kendall's surprise, he could have one of his own. A guys-night-out would be fin, right? And it'd be good to re-build some of the bridges that had been damaged over the strains of time.

People said that true love was never painful. And they were right. Love itself is not painful. It's the people who make it that way. He was wrong, in so many regards, to go away. He knew he was putting Jo into the picture and that Kendall would like her. And that was another odd thing about him. Kendall knew everything about him: from the horribly embarrassing stuff to his moments when he had been too happy for words. He knew his fears and his concerns.

He knew everything but his heart.

And briefly, Logan wondered if Jo could say the same. Did Kendall know her that way?

Kendall said he loved her.

He closed his eyes for a second, feeling the lead that suddenly sunk in his stomach to dissipate just a tad. For Kendall to say something like that, he must've meant it. And even though, Logan wished that he could be that person, if Kendall wanted to spend his life with someone else, he had to be happy for him.

That's what best friends did.

But he was not happy. He laughed and smiled and talked with the blond for his entire lunch period, but by the time he got home to his empty apartment, the tears just came streaming down his face.

And there was nothing he could think or do to stop them.

But despite all of this, he was not mad at Jo. She was in love too, and Logan couldn't fault her for being the one Kendall had chosen. She was ambitious, charming, funny… they were never friends, but he knew that from the few times they interacted. And after all these years, she deserved him.

…

There was a knock on the door, and before he could say 'Come in' the door had already opened and a blond walked in.

Logan stood, "Ken…" he broke off, seeing another blonde stroll through the door.

"Jo."

"Surprise!" Kendall said, and Logan resisted the urge to run. He managed a small smile, which he hoped reached his eyes.

"It's a pleasure to meet you after… what, is it nine years?" Logan said, extending his hand.

"Sure is," Jo replied, also smiling, "But I'm not sure what's it like across in Baltimore, but around here, we hug."

Logan laughed in spite of himself. PHYSICAL CONTACT?! He mentally screamed, but nevertheless, to promote goodwill, he obliged.

"What? I don't get a hug too?" Kendall whined.

"No," both Logan and Jo said at the same time. Their eyes met. Jo seemed confused at his response, as was Logan at hers. But at least they agreed on something. It was a start, right?

The brunet stepped back, indicating his two patient seats. He wasn't expecting a visitor. But perhaps, most of all, he was not expecting Kendall's fiancée.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his thoughts, mitigate the rising panic. We wanted out.

"You both can have a seat there, if you like. Would you all like something to drink? Coffee or something?"

Kendall looked at Jo. "None for me but can you bring one for the lady?"

"No problem," he replied and hastened away.

…

"Serving coffee in a doctor's office," Logan chided himself as he made his way to the back room. He stood at the tiny table eyeing the sugar with particular interest.

If he focused on one thing, he wouldn't have to think about the pain that had enveloped his heart. The lady? Since when Kendall talked like that? Right… he loved her.

Logan sighed, wishing he could just hide away until they left. He felt like seventeen again, when his worst worries were best dealt with by avoidance. Confrontation was never his strong suit. People tended to get more annoyed at him.

There was a knock at the door, and a blond head poked him. "I knew you'd have a place like this in here somewhere. It's so you."

"Thanks?" Logan said, brushing his eyes quickly. "Why'd you come looking for me?" he asked and internally slapped himself. There he was, chasing pavements, even when he knew they would lead nowhere.

"Jo likes her coffee a special way. She wanted to make sure… you know."

"Umm… let me guess, three spoons of sugar, lots of milk, stirred, not shaken?"

"That was weird," Kendall said, a hint of laughter on his tone, "But how did you know?"

"Lucky guess… Actually, I take it the same way."

"Really now?" Kendall said appraisingly, "See, you two are already becoming friends. Similar likes- check."

Logan shook his head. This boy was unbelievable.

"Here," the brunet said, handing him the cup, and for the briefest of instances, the fingers touched.

No spark. No special feeling. One of the side effects when they were of the same hands that had helped you up when you had fallen in the mud.

"Let's go."

…

Jo was waiting in the corridor, arms folded, as though impatiently awaiting them.

Kendall handed her the coffee. "Did you tell him?" he whispered.

"Yeah, but…" Jo placed a quick kiss on his lips, effectively silencing him… and stabbing Logan's heart right before his eyes.

"Thanks darling." She said, walking back to the office.

Logan watched her go, and wondered if that was what Kendall wanted. Someone who wasn't afraid to let him know how they felt… who wasn't afraid of the occasional PDA. It made him nauseous.

"What are you thinking of?" Kendall asked, breaking into the reverie.

"Is she normally that way?" he asked.

"No… but she's not feeling well so I guess… today's an exception."

Logan merely nodded, and they both proceeded back inside.

For the next couple minutes, Logan learned a lot of Jo. She studied not only Drama, but had a minor in kinesics- the interpretation of body language. The latter scared him a tad because he had done a short course on it during his psychology unit, and it had taught him that people gave up a lot about themselves just by simple gestures.

That was just a course. She had the full thing. Imagine how much he gave off that she sensed.

His surprise seemed meaningless all of a sudden. What is, he wondered, what if Kendall rather not spend his night with him? What if he wanted to be with Jo?

When it was time for them to leave, Logan opened his drawer and pulled out the two coupons.

"I was going to invite a friend from school for dinner later today," he said slowly, the words feeling uncomfortable in his mouth. "But, well, he wouldn't be able to make it. Would you both like to go instead?"

"You sure, Logan?" Kendall asked, taking the coupons in hand "This place is pretty darn expensive and these pay for everything."

"Yeah," he murmured, his eyes meeting Kendall's and for a moment, he debated going back on his decision. Was this what 'giving up' felt like? "I'm kinda taken up this evening too."

"Well, thanks buddy," the blond replied, still looking stunned, but patting him on the shoulder.

"Thanks Logan," Jo said, flashing a smile at him. Logan had the decency to smile back.

He knew what she was thinking… why she kissed Kendall in front of him… Not just to show how much she loved him, but to show him that Kendall was hers, and, unlike him, she could show him exactly that.

But perhaps, scarily enough, Logan got the feeling that Jo could tell just how deeply his friendship ran when it came to a certain blond.

…

Logan sat at his desk after they left, mobile phone in hand. He had scribbled two numbers on a spare piece of paper and now, was internally debating whether to call at all.

He thought of Jo, and the look she briefly flashed him before Kendall even noticed her in the corridor. He thought of Kendall, and the feeling went straight to his stomach.

He dialed the first one.

A person with a silky baritone voice picked up on the third ring.

"Good afternoon? PCH Treatment Centre of Los Angeles. How may I help you?"

In a shaky voice, Logan began, "My name in Logan Mitchell. And I'd like to make an appointment."

A pause on the other side on the line. "Logan Mitchell. As in the doctor Logan Mitchell who majored in neuroscience at John Hopkins?"

"Yes," Logan replied, slightly alarmed, "To whom am I speaking?"

"Idiot. This is James. James Diamond? We studied the Psychology unit together."

"Oh Gods. I remember. How are you?"

"I think the question is… what's wrong with you? You're calling the finest treatment centre for psychological problems, where I just happen to work. I think, dear friend, you have a problem."

Friend?

"I'd rather not talk about it over the phone. Do I have to make an appointment of something to come down there, or can I just show up?"

"Dude, lighten up," A short laugh. "That wasn't professional at all, was it? Think about this. You'd have to pay two hundred dollars for an initial examination…. When, au contraire, you can just meet me, free of charge, and we can decide what to do from there."

"Money's not a problem."

"But when you can meet a friend, than meet some boring old person who'd make you feel probably worse than you already are? Your pick."

Logan smiled. "Okay, fine. But where?"

"There's this restaurant: Providence. Ever heard of it?"

"Sure I have." Please not there. Anywhere but there.

"I have two… coupons… if you will. See, no charge to you. Can you meet me there at around seven-ish."

"That's… fine," the brunet replied. No, it's NOT. What's wrong with you?

"Good, see you there. And Logan?"

"Yes James?"

"Dress nice."

**Review ? :D**


	4. Your Love Is Static

**I don't know what to say... This was here forever and I didn't post it sorry .**

**...Enjoy?**

CHAPTER FOUR:

**YOUR LOVE IS STATIC **

"I didn't think you'd come..." said the brunet, staring up at the other with wistful eyes."I thought you might have forgotten, or would've changed your mind, or something. That's the way it usually is."

"I'd be lying to say I didn't think about it," Logan replied with a sigh. "Mind if I take a seat?"

"It's been waiting for you, a lot longer than I was. When you hung up, I called here just to get everything in order."

Logan looked around, taking in the new place. Strictly speaking, he'd never been there before, but he had heard about it. It was the kind of place you wanted to take that special person- the candlelight, the music that made you feel as though time had slowed down, that made you feel as though the moment would last forever. Logan felt a pang in his heart. It was the kind of place he wanted to be with Kendall.

"You're thinking about something," James pointed out. "Your eyes went distant, and you didn't answer my question."

Logan eyed his menu. "Question? Ummm… I don't drink alcohol?"

James let out a chuckle, rolling his eyes. "Okay then. I asked you if you knew the name of that sheep that tends to walk more to the front in the flock?"

Logan knitted his eyebrows. "What? I take it we're not talking about food?"

"It's a joke, just to break the ice... Answer?"

Logan shook his head.

"Wait for it... a leaderSHEEP. Get it?"

"That took real skills, James," Logan said, "Yet it was perhaps one of the stalest jokes I heard for a while."

"You don't get out much, do you?"

Logan shrugged. "I've been told."

James leaned back onto his chair, a small frown on his lips. "For meeting your friend after such a long time, you're being mean." James tried to keep a serious face, but the humor found its way into his eyes.

"Really? I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Really. Goading is all right. I grew up with a brother and sister... THAT took patience. You have siblings?"

Logan managed a weak smile, finding his gaze drawn by James' chocolate brown eyes. They were a lighter shade to his, and by usual genetics, brown eyes were relatively common. But there was a way the candlelight reflected off of them that made it difficult to look away.

"No, but I have... had... a best friend." A pause. "And he's the reason I'm here tonight."

...

James went all-business. His quirky smile which Logan, personally, found quite endearing, vanished, to be replaced by a attentive stare. Logan felt slightly disconcerted but this, he recalled, was the reason he came. He needed to talk to someone. He wanted to know if all of the feelings that still swirled haphazardly within him were normal.

"I'm not going to interrupt, at least I'd try not to. You can take as long as you need. And when you're done, if you'd like, we can talk about it. But I think, in my professional opinion, you need to get it out of your system first... It's about this boy, I take it?"

"His name is Kendall," Logan began. No hesitation. "We spent most of our lives in the same classes growing up, we went to the same school, and we were best friends. In high school I was different, I guess... I liked being by myself, I preferred NOT liking what everyone else found amazing. And I knew it meant I would not be popular, but I always felt people should like me for me. Not because I liked the same things as them, or thought the same way as they did. But Kendall… Kendall… was always there. He called me weird, sure, and he laughed at me, but it was fine. Because he made me feel as though... I was different, and that was okay.

"When our time in high school was coming to an end, it occurred to be that something wasn't right. I wasn't happy when it came to our friendship. He had a friend... who happened to be a girl and I found myself competing for his attention. Thinking about it now, it was stupid. But I thought, if anyone had to be the person he fell in love with, it would be the person he knew the longest. I thought it would be..."

"You," James completed for him, "You fell ... you ARE in love with Kendall?"

"I don't know what this feeling is, and in the beginning, it was worse. I mean, I felt so much for him... So much so that at times it was overbearing. And in loving him, there came expectations. Not that I thought he felt the same way, but I kinda hoped I wasn't that invisible to him. I thought he'd know without me telling him. And I thought wrong. He had an informal girlfriend. And I stood in the way of him leading a normal life. I was stressing him out, I was killing myself slowly... and I left town that year and went to university… where our paths crossed."

"And even after all this time?"

Logan took a deep breath. "I came back to town this year, and found out he was engaged to the girl... And I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him SO bad. But I can't spoil everything. When we met, he was upset initially. He said that friends didn't do that to other friends.. and I knew it was true. In some way, I guess it was my fault things worked out the way they did. But we ended up resolving to start over."

"You want to start over a friendship with someone you love? Because you just want to keep him in your life?" James's question stung. For the mere reason it hit the nail on the head.

Logan wiped a tell-tale tear from the corner of his eye. "Yeah, and considering everything.. I don't think it was a bad decision. Until well, I thought it was necessary to call someone. My emotions are on tenterhooks. It gets harder when I know no matter how much I want this, I just can't get it."

"Huh," James scoffed to himself, "Funny how life works..."

Then to Logan, "Firstly I need to tell you that this is normal. I mean, normal enough to be fixed with some care and attention. Psychiatrists call it reactive depression- Depression due to an external stimulus that you're unable to cope with. I think, and please don't be upset. I think that Kendall is your chronic stressor, and he will continue to be unless you do something."

"Like move on?"

"Why haven't you tried? I mean, you are everything a person can be looking in a partner, and you're wasting your life away over someone who doesn't understand, nor would hardly unlikely feel the same."

"I care about him." And the moment Logan said it, he knew it was the truth.

James knitted his fingers on the table, looking at Logan. Was that pain, Logan saw? But it vanished the moment the doctor began talking. "Logan, listen. I don't know what your reservations about love are, and you're completely within reason to disagree with me, but hear me out. The Greeks claim that there are three types of love. Eros, or romantic love. The kind you feel towards your life partner. Philia, or friendship. That love you feel towards someone you is… was… your friend, or trusted companions. And then there's Agape which is that spiritual love towards mankind. Are you sure that what Kendall means to you is guaranteed eros, or is it something else?"

"Maybe... I don't know. What if... What if the moment I stop hoping is the moment he realises that he could feel the same?"

"But he's engaged Logan. And even so, if he ever feels that way, then it's his loss. You can't hold on to this. You're right. People go MAD from stuff like this. and you're too cute for that to happen to..."

"Wait, what?"

"Sometimes you have to move on. You have to see the world not as that eighteen year old who had his heart broken. You're older, smarter… You have your entire life ahead of you. I think, in my professional opinion, that you have to let go. Kendall can still be your friend, but you need time to heal. Those seven years you spent pining…" James shook his head, "I explains a lot of why you were that way in Medical School… You need to. If not for yourself, do it for Kendall."

Logan looked at James. Really looked at James. His eyes were pleading, as though he needed Logan to take this step. He nodded. "And if not for Kendall," he whispered, "Maybe for you."

...

James had taken the liberty of pre-ordering dinner. It was simple Thai food, not too spicy (Logan couldn't so much as put the stuff on his tongue, and far less for James). They talked about their university days. The projects, the first Psychology assignment when they worked together for the first time… In between the idle conversation, the laughs, James called the waiter and asked for a bottle of red wine.

Logan neglected asking whether it was alcoholic or not and the moment the cool, crimson liquid touched his lips, he scrunched his nose. "God, this is bitter."

"But it's good for your heart," James replied, a small smile evident.

It took a moment, but Logan eventually caught it, and NOT the medical significance. "You're impossible James."

"Really, it is… It's actually one of the few things I drink."

Logan tipped the glass higher, taking the entire thing in one shot. "Okay, that wasn't so bad."

"Seconds?" James proposed.

"Why not?"

…

At eleven o' clock, James stood, extending his hand for the other. "Chivalry is not dead," Logan slurred, taking it.

James managed to support the brunet outside, feeling much like teenagers again. Why was this so...? He couldn't find a word.

"You think you could manage driving home?" the taller asked.

"I came by bus," Logan giggled, "I didn't think I reach all the way here."

"Would you like me to drop you home then?"

"That'd be... sweet."

"They walked down the street in silence, to find James's car. A slight drizzle descended upon the pair. "Of all the days for me to leave my umbrella…" James groaned, gripping Logan's upper arm, and attempting to hurry him along.

"Stay," Logan whispered, "Please."

"I'm not going anywhere. But I have to get you home. You don't have to go to work tomorrow?"

"Yes," Logan said, "But I'll wake up early. I always do."

"I can't get my hair wet," James complained, as the droplets became larger. "Come."

He led Logan under the awning of an ice-cream shop. There was no streetlight nearby. Behind them, the Closed sign glowed a prominent red. As though rubbing it in. "I forgot about dessert," James apologized, "I'm sorry it didn't occur to me."

"It's alright. There are always other times, right?"

"Other times?" James repeated, as though the thought had not occurred to him, "Would you like to do this again, Logan?"

And the rain came down. The droplets hit the awning, casting a mist onto the pair of doctors below.

Logan looked over the road as two people climbed into their vehicle. Two people- a man and his wife… girlfriend… It didn't matter. But it occurred to him that Kendall and Jo were supposed to be there that night. And he hadn't seen them.

The engine turned over. And Logan's reverie broke when he found James' running his index finger along his chin.

He looked up into his eyes, wondering, and took an unnecessary breath. Is this what it feels to be in love, or is this being starstruck? James was perfection personified when it came to good looks. He was a smooth talker, with ample confidence that neither made him seem like a show-off nor introvert.

"Can you tell?" the taller asked, "Can you feel what I feel right now?"

Did he? Could Logan really say that? "You're not Kendall," Logan sighed, and hoped he didn't take it the wrong way, "I don't think I'm ready for anything."

James pulled him closer, and Logan his body heat radiating. "James," he murmured, "I…"

"Shhh," he whispered, "I'm here for you Logan. I will keep you safe. I will keep you happy. I will love you, I promise. But you have to let me in."

"I don't know if I'm still drunk, because my head is spinning… But how can you love me? When you don't know me?"

"I'd seen you in University. I'd seen you struggling to find your way back to your feet, and I wanted to help you. But you weren't interested. You weren't interested in anyone."

"Please James. I don't want to hear…"

"Logan, I'd loved you. I'd come here thinking one day, I'd hear from you. You probably wouldn't remember me, but that'd be alright. We could start over. I'm not saying you have to tell me now, but think about it?"

"I'd… I'd try," Logan whispered, and he felt the tears sting his eyes. He made an involuntary gasp as they slid down. James stared at him, and sighed. "You shouldn't be crying," he whispered.

Logan felt his cheeks grow red as the distance between them narrowed. James' arm was around his back, his breath was on his nose- warm in the cool air, Logan shivered in nervous delight when he whispered, "This is because I love you."

When their lips connected, Logan didn't think of anything else besides the boy in front of him. Yes, he cared about Kendall, and perhaps he always would… but James. James would make him happy, and maybe even help him get back the normalcy he had with the blond before things became complicated.

…

MEANWHILE…

"Oh Kendall, tonight was wonderful," Jo said, as they climbed into the vehicle.

"And we have Logan to thank for that," Kendall said, "The food is far better than any place I'd taken you."

"That's nice to know."

There was a moment when they settled into the car when Jo saw two people walking in her peripheral vision.

Kendall turned over the engine.

"Darling," she asked, her tone layered with innocence, "Is that Logan?"

Kendall found himself turning towards her line of vision.

It was Logan. Logan with someone else. A taller someone else. It began to rain and they both sought shelter under the awning for an ice-cream shop.

Kendall saw them talking, whispering in hushed tones as though there were people around to listen in.

He saw the taller boy kiss his best friend, and the latter did nothing to push him away.

Kendall unclenched his hands from on the steering wheel.

He knew something was wrong when Logan left so many years ago, he knew something had changed in him when they met some days ago, and now? Now he was positive that his gut feeling wasn't all that far off.

**Next chapter will be up soon :)**

**xoxo Chelzi & Wynter**


	5. Remember All Too Well

**Hey all. Finally an update? Like all thus far, this was a fun chapter to write... Hopefully, you do not mind the pairing :)**

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE:**

**REMEMBER ALL TOO WELL**

Logan awoke the next morning, overcome with nausea. He rolled off the bed, and practically hobbled to the bathroom. He took a long look in the mirror, his brown eyes scrutinizing every aspect of his appearance.

He had rested well last night, though he had no idea how he had reached inside his room. Did James drop him? It made sense, but… He gripped the wall and retched into the sink.

What was wrong with him? He let someone in. He let him… kiss him. His hands were trembling. It wasn't supposed to happen. And then a realisation dawned on him, as his stomach contracted again.

He had been drunk last night.

And Logan Mitchell did not drink for obvious reasons.

When the feeling had abated, he called his office and told them to expect him at twelve. There was no way he could go help people when he himself was feeling as though someone had scrubbed his insides clean and wrung them dry.

Logan went into his study. He had placed his favourite chair near the window, but, rather than outside, it faced one of his most cherished bookcases.

The deep mahogany gleamed in the early morning sunlight, as Logan moved towards it. He ran a finger along the shelf, surprised the amount of dust. He would have to get someone to come and help clean.

Pushing aside some of the books, he reached behind and retrieved an old shoebox. Taking it, he went to his chair and opened it.

Most of the items it contained centred around one night- the first and assumedly last night he was ever drunk… and the night when he realised everything had changed. It was the night he had made up his mind about leaving. It was the night he told Kendall that…

He broke off the thought. The memory was bittersweet, and he had wanted never to recollect it. But what had James said?

"_You have to see the world not as that eighteen year old who had his heart broken. You're older, smarter… You have your entire life ahead of you. I think, in my professional opinion, that you have to let go."_

And moving on, meant coming to terms with everything he had run away from.

He fingered a photo at the bottom of the box, secured in a Ziploc bag. He took it out first, laughing at how different he looked. That night, their prom, he and Kendall went together. Well, not technically. Jo was his date, but her father had his qualms about having boys around her daughter, and the blond needed a drop.

Why would Logan have any reservations? No one had asked him. Well, except that blond.

_They had walked in; Logan could still remember the cheery upbeat music that pulsed through the room. Kendall looked over his head, looking for Jo._

"_I don't think she's here yet… Wanna hang out?" _ _he asked._

"_Why not? I don't have plans."_

_The blond took his friend to a table on the far end, where the music wasn't that loud and went to get drinks._

_Logan took one sip and knew immediately that it wasn't just soda. And he didn't even have to ask who spiked it. The smirk on Kendall's lips was enough._

"_I can't go home drunk," he remembered whispering._

"_You have five hours… and besides it wasn't a lot."_

_But it went to Logan's head a lot faster than anticipated._

"_Hey Kendall?" he asked, "What are you doing next year?"_

"_University… Actually, I'm counting on a Hockey Scholarship, to go into the Performing Arts."_

"_And after that?"_

_Kendall ran a hand on his hair. "I don't know. Find a girl, settle down, have kids…?" he added with a smile._

"_Can I ask you something?" Logan continued, internally screaming every medical effect of ethanol on the nervous system. Lack of social inhibition, perhaps? _

"_If you don't find that person, can you come live with me?"_

_Kendall, at first, looked confused. But he shook it off, "No prob…" he looked off into the distance. "What'd you think that'd be like?"_

"_Well, you might actually have a schedule, but I could be called out at any time… So, I hope you can cook."Logan pointed out._

"_There's Subway," he shrugged._

"_What about the house? A one story or two?"_

"_Two."_

"_Pets?"_

"_A dog… a Rottweiler and Labrador mix."_

_Logan laughed. "Why?"_

"_Because I said so."_

"_Kids?"_

_A pause. "That… I'm not sure."_

"_Hypothetically…"_

_It seemed like an eternity. "Maybe… a son," he said softly._

"_What'd be his name?" _

"_Liam? Greg is a good one too…Yeah, I can see it now: Greg Knight… in detention again." Kendall looked across at Logan. "You like it?"_

"_Well, he'll definitely be your son," Logan replied with a smile, "But I like Riley more."_

"_So it's decided," Kendall announced putting his hand on the table, and Logan followed suit, "If we have a son, we shall call him Riley. If we ever live together, it'd be in a two-storey house, with a dog…"_

"_And we'd be obsessed with Subway," Logan completed for him._

"_Exactly." And they both burst out laughing._

"_Kendall, you know I love you right?" Logan said. Deep down, he wasn't sure how deep he wanted the statement to run. Kendall didn't… couldn't… feel the same. _

_Kendall's green eyes met Logan's, like emerald in deep chocolate. "I know," Kendall said, "How could you not? You've known me for half your life."_

_Then, "And Logan, thank you. You've been my best friend too."_

"_Kendall," said a voice behind them, "I've been looking for you everywhere."_

_They turned, and Logan saw the cold fury etched in Jo Taylor's eyes._

"_I should go," Kendall said to him, squeezing his arm, "See you later?"_

"_I might go early," the brunet replied, "There's nothing really for me here."_

_Logan left at nine that night and went straight home. He got in trouble for the drinking and he promised his mother that he'd never do it again. And then he went to his room._

_He had sat at his desk, and penned a letter to John Hopkins University- his application. A first draft. There was no way he could send a tear stained piece of paper to one of the most prestigious medical schools in the country._

…

Logan replaced the photo of Kendall and himself. His mother had taken it before they left, and he could never be more grateful to her.

He found a crumpled piece of paper, and carefully opened it. Age had made the paper fragile, and he didn't want to destroy anything.

It was a song… a piece of a song, which Logan had written in the weeks to follow that incident.

_You've read the books,__  
You've watched the shows,__  
What's the best way no one knows, yeah,__  
Meditate, get hypnotized.__  
Anything to take from your mind.__  
But it won't go__  
You're doing all these things out of desperation,__  
You're going through six degrees of separation._

_You hit the drink, you take a toke._

_Watch the past go up in smoke.__  
Fake a smile, yeah, lie and say that,__  
I'm better now than ever, and your life's okay__  
Well it's not. No.__  
You're doing all these things out of desperation,__  
You're going through six degrees of separation._

Logan thought for a moment, and found a pen at the side of the chair, and flyer from a newspaper between the cushion. And he began to write:

_First, you think the worst is a broken heart__  
What's gonna kill you is the second part__  
And the third, is when your world splits down the middle__  
And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself__  
Fifth, you see them out with someone else__  
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have messed up a little._

_You tell your friends, yeah, strangers too,__  
Anyone'll throw an arm around you, yeah__  
Tarot cards,__  
Gems and stones,__  
Believing all that sh- is gonna heal your soul.__  
We'll it's not, no__  
You're only doing things out of desperation,__  
You're goin' through six degrees of separation._

Logan took a deep breath, not sure if satisfied was the right word to describe how he felt. He folded the paper, and placed it in the box. He doubted he wanted to see it for a long time.

* * *

**LATER THAT DAY…**

Logan sat at his desk, head buried in unread letters- from his university, asking him to return to teach, the Board, patients…. He heard a knock on the door and looked up expectantly.

It was lunchtime after all. His visitor was expected.

But when the door did not open, he became speculative. Kendall did not need a 'Come in', but there was someone who would.

He stood, and moved towards the door.

"You know you can walk right in Sir. The doctor is in."

He did not hear the reply.

Was this too soon? How could James come looking for him? He didn't even give him his work address… Wait, did he? What should he say?

Logan wiped his palms against his palms and opened the door. "James…" he began.

"Expecting someone else, Logan?" the familiar voice drawled. "I didn't think you'd invite him here this soon."

"Kendall….I… What…?"

"We need to talk… and this time, I want the doctor's chair."

Kendall moved around him and went to the seat. Logan shot a weak glance in his direction, before shutting the door. There was something different about his friend. He couldn't say it was anger. Kendall's anger bubbled over like an erupting volcano.

There was a definite coldness- which the blond generally demonstrated when he was annoyed.

But annoyed about what? They'd talked to each other the day before about the restaurant- when Jo had come over. Why this? Why now?

"You can have a seat, Mr. Mitchell."

"Kendall…" Logan began, but Kendall had raised a finger to stop him.

"It's Dr. Knight," he said, and Logan had to suppress a smirk. "Please sit."

The brunet complied and looked expectantly over the blond.

"How was last night?" he asked.

"Mine?" Kendall said, "It was _wonderful. _And thanks for the coupon things… but I think the real question here is: How was yours?"

"It was good. I had a… meeting with a fellow doctor."

"A meeting?" Kendall repeated, "In the night."

"It wasn't that formal. Kendall, why…?"

"And what did you discuss at this said meeting ten o' clock in the night?" Kendall asked, his green eyes practically glittering.

"I… We… It was nothing important," Logan said, feeling the wave of nausea hit again.

"I beg to differ."

Kendall stood and moved to stand by the window.

"When were you going to tell me you were… you liked boys, Logan?"

Heat rose to his cheeks. Kendall _knew_. Kendall knew he liked him. Where was the blond… when James and he was talking. Nearby? Was Jo with him?

"We were coming out the restaurant, and I sat in my car… And you were there, under the ice cream parlour awning, making out with your _fellow doctor._"

Internally, Logan breathed a sigh of relief. "Kendall I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"That I hadn't told you sooner."

"We're friends… We were BEST friends for nearly half of our lives. This just slipped you to mention? You knew I wouldn't be mad. I told you I was bi a while back. And you just decided to keep this from me?"

"I didn't know for sure… it was love," Logan sighed.

"We could've figured it out together," Kendall retorted, but deep down he understood, a little. "But out of curiosity, when did you start to wonder?"

There was a tiny smirk of Logan's lips now. "When we were in high school."

Kendall arched his eye-brows. "I was daft… So tell me about your doctor?"

And just like that, the coldness was lifted.

"His name is James… Diamond. We were in university together; he majored in psychology while I in neurology, but we had some courses together… But I never like liked him. I tended to be by myself."

"Like Liked? Logan we are not in kindergarten."

"And then I had to call the PCH Treatment Centre of Los Angeles. You know, for a patient… and he answered and invited me for dinner."

"In the same restaurant that we were? Coincidence much?"

"Yeah well," Logan broke off, and sunk into his own thoughts.

"Can I tell you something, Logan?"

"Sure."

Kendall paused. And there was a knock on the door.

"He's with someone," Logan heard his receptionist say.

"But I need to see him urgently."

Kendall shot Logan an appraised look.

The brunet stood and turned the doorknob.

"James," he whispered, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you. Can I come in?"

"I have a visitor."

"But aren't I more important?"

James saw the look on Logan's face. "Okay, I'll be quick."

Logan let him pass, and he was surprised to see James stop in the middle of the office.

"Green eyes… Blond hair… You must be Kendall Knight," James said, extending his hand. "I'm Dr. James Diamond and I'm Logan's…"

"Boyfriend, I know," Kendall replied without humour.

James shot a look at the boy behind him. "We need to talk," it translated.

And Logan was stabbed with a shard of guilt. He had to be moving on, and giving James a chance. Yet, with Kendall here, it was impossible to even think about that.

"So the Audi's yours?" James went on.

"Bought it a couple months ago. Still works like a charm."

"Did you see the latest Corvette? Mine just arrived in the state this morning. The fuel efficiency is amazing."

"I can imagine. Nice to know Logan has someone who cares about the environment."

Logan winced. Kendall really had to stop saying 'having someone' when it didn't refer to the blond himself.

"I know, right?" James replied, "Logan, can I see you later? Unless you're busy?"

"It's fine," Logan heard himself say.

He registered James' smile, and the fact that he left the door open. But Kendall seemed distant to him now.

He shut it, and turned around to see the blond staring at him with a most peculiar gaze.

"I can see why you love him."

"I just met him," Logan pointed out.

"So you kiss on your first date? I'm proud of you Logie."

There it was. The nickname. Logan wanted to smack him and hug him at the same time.

"_He_ kissed _me_," he retorted in a small voice.

"But you let him. At least you're partially attracted to that."

Logan looked away. Now, he wanted to cry.

"So, I had something to say. And I think now, it's probably more important."

"Shoot." _Literally and figuratively._

"I don't like James. When I saw him first with you, I thought I was going to strangle someone. Probably him first, and then you after for being with him." Kendall took a breath. "And now I actually meet him, and I know I was right. I'm not telling you what to do, Logan, but I need to get this on the table. Probably he's nice to you and whatever, but he's not _for _you. Does that make sense?"

"I don't know what you're trying to tell me."

"I want you to be happy. And I don't think James is the person who's going to help with that. That better?"

Logan nodded. "It helps. But I still think you're wrong."

* * *

**COUPLE DAYS LATER…**

"This is for you," Kendall said, handing over an envelope to his friend. "Jo wanted to mail the majority, but I think it's only fair that I hand-deliver yours."

Logan tore the flap open. "Your wedding invitation," he said.

"We're so excited. Everything is set for the 14th November… one month from now."

"That's your birthday," Logan pointed out.

Kendall face-palmed himself. "I completely forgot, but that's so cool."

The brunet smiled. Happy that Kendall was happy. He seemed to be a teenager again.

"Oh, and if you want, Jo says you can invite your boyfriend too. We're catering for extra."

Logan felt as if he had slammed into a concrete brick wall. "You told her?"

"She saw _too_," Kendall said, "And for some reason, she was not surprised. Go figure. But she's happy for you though. That at least you _found _someone."

"Yeah, well," Logan replied, unsure what to say to that. James told him it'd be better if he stayed away from Kendall.

"Are you okay, Logan? You and James…?"

"We're fine. He gives me a lot to think about."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Kendall fixed him a stern glare, and Logan felt the brotherly love emanating from the gesture. Maybe he was over-reacting, but it was comforting.

"You know, if anything happens, I'm going to be here… for you."

Logan smiled, and he moved to hug the blond.

Even though he seriously doubted James would hurt him, and that he'd never stop loving Kendall… in that moment, he was sure that he would be able to move on.

Having a relationship with James no longer seemed impossible.


End file.
